Obviously everyone knows about the whole coronavirus issue that's going on. I'm not even gonna talk about my opinions on the matter. However, I will say, that I feel like even though it's difficult to stay at home as much as possible, it's a welcome change for my family and I (and I feel like I'm not alone on this!). We're all so used to having every second of our day scheduled out that we end the day vegging out in front of the tv in exhaustion. That's not how we're called to live. I want to live a life that my children can look back on and say that "mom always had time for me and was always present". I try to be anyways, I mean, I know I have an advantage because I stay at home with my babies, but can I honestly say that I'm always "present"?! As hard as it is to admit...I'm not. I'm so caught up in our schedules, routines, playdates, church activities, keeping up with my friends via Marco Polo, keeping the house clean (ish), working on house projects, that half the time it seems like the day goes by and I haven't actually gotten on the floor to PLAY with my kids. Sure, I'm there interacting with them throughout the day. having conversations, providing fun activities and projects, planning playdates with friends, making them food and taking care of their basic needs, but I really don't feel like I'm as present as I want to be. When we're home from our errands/playdates/church I'm always so focused on cleaning the house or doing laundry or doing all the millions of things that taking care of a family requires that I don't take time to just be on the floor playing in the mess WITH my children. I try to get all of the house things done, so that IF I get both of my children napping at the same time I get alone time for ME (which is definitely needed, but not if it's going to not give my children the love and attention they need). Usually we'll be gone all morning and when we get home after lunch I'll pop on some worship music and we dance around as I clean and the boys play...which is great, Jesus and I have some great moments and my kids and I do too. But then HOPEFULLY they nap, and then after nap I usually turn the tv on while I dinner prep and then we'll go on a walk before it's time to cook dinner and then do bath and bedtime...and then it's done. The day is over with, and I haven't given my kiddos the best thing for them; ME. They're only young once and I want to fully embrace it. And honestly thanks to the coronavirus this past week has been just that.
It's definitely not all sunshine and roses as we've had a reallyyyyyy hard week with a teething baby and toddler not napping. We go out of the house every single day, so the adjustment for my children not leaving has been equally difficult on them as it has been for me. But now that we're a week in, I feel like we're getting the hang of it. It's HARD to be stuck at home, but it's also been one of the biggest blessings. It's been so much easier to keep the house clean and be on top of the laundry. It's been amazing to let my baby nap in the mornings without having to wake him up to go meet up with friends, and since he gets to take a good long nap, it's given me one on one time with my almost 3 year old where we do a bible lesson and an activity before doing some kind of arts n craft project. His creativity has really blossomed this week because I've given him the TIME to just create. We've spent countless hours outside where my baby has successfully mastered eating grass faster than I can pull it out of his mouth, which has in turn helped him with his fine motor skills. My toddler has made swords out of sticks, dug in the dirt, helped me shovel a space for our back deck, played with bugs (which in turn led to us learning about certain bugs in our alone time in the mornings), peed on bugs (don't ask) and has just had the best time being free. And that's what this time is all about for us, just being free. My toddler knows what's going on with the coronavirus (I'm not saying he's a genius by any means but he's pretty dang smart and it feels like you're talking with a mini adult half the time...the other half of the time, he's most definitely an almost three year old!) so he gets why he can't see his friends or go play at church or parks with other kids and whatnot. Yeah, he's bummed about it, BUT, because of him seeing his parents not freak out or worry about this virus, he's just been so carefree this week having the time of his life. And I've felt the same way. I think I've only turned the tv on 3 times this week, which usually my son asks me to turn it on like 3x's a day. We've had so much fun together and I know my boys are picking up on that too and it just makes me want to be better.
I've been meditating on 2 Timothy 1:7 this week. "For God didn't give us a Spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control" I've felt so much peace (and conviction) from this verse. I seriously am NOT worried about the Coronavirus. Not a bit, God's got everything under control so I don't have to worry. However, the part about Him giving us a Spirit of power, love and self-control, that's convicted me.
Really Lord?! SELF CONTROL while my toddler is refusing to nap and we're stuck at home 24/7 and my baby is teething and fussy nonstop??? I definitely don't feel like I have the power to have SELF CONTROL or heck, even love during some of those tricky moments. But....His still, calm, presence inside of me reminding me it's 100000% not ME that's capable of having self-control in these loooooong days. It's Him. And if He says not to fear and I trust that...I equally have to trust in Him giving me the self-control to make it through these long days stuck at home....and guess what?! He does. No, every day isnt perfect, and I'm not saying it's not long, but man, it sure does help reminding myself that His Spirit is in me and guiding me.
I really do love that this whole "social distancing" thing has forced people to be creative with their kids again and is forcing families to spend more time together. I feel like this was just the reset that my family needed. Yes, it will be AMAZING to go see our friends again in a few weeks or months or however long this lasts, but this has really opened my eyes to the bigger picture about what I want our family dynamic to look like. We're not going to be as busy anymore or leave the house EVERY single day. At least in this season. We're going to thrive off of having free time to just be us, and be creative, and messy and most of all, make the fun memories that childhood should be made of. Babies don't keep and I just don't want to look back in 10years when my boys are off at sleepovers, doing sports, being "too cool" to hang out with mom, and all the "busy" things and wish that I did things differently "back then". This is my "back then" NOW and I only get one chance to do it right!!
Yes, epidemics can be scary....heck, I feel like more people should be concerned about the flu personally, but with Jesus we don't have to live in fear. I can't imagine going through scary unknown times and not knowing where I was going when it's my time to leave this Earth. But the good Lord says not to worry about "ANYTHING" but to pray about "EVERYTHING" so that's all we need to be doing during this time of Social Distancing. Distance well my friends, and reach out if you're feeling isolated or alone (or like you want to kill your children) I'd love to chat <3
Also, this is in no way meant to offend anyone. I know there's a lot of unknown going on. I'm not trying to make light of the situation, especially if you're not able to work during this time. Just trying to TRUST and pray for this country and its people and help out where I can.
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